That Stupid Flat Lay

Shirt from The Daily Tay

I've been getting really frustrated because I feel like everyone around me is doing better than I am. Everyone is skinnier. Everyone has prettier photography. Everyone can write better. Everyone has nicer clothes. Everyone has nicer hair and skin. Everyone has a prettier decorated home. 

I'm feeling like everything I do is very insufficient compared to literally everyone else in this instagram fueled world who has deemed themselves, "girlboss."  

Now I work 8am-5pm. I'm not a girlboss. I'm no one's boss. I have a boss, and he has a boss who has a boss. There's no one below me, and there is no one in my company in my department. I'm it when it comes to anything related to advertising, marketing and social media. I kind of like it that way, I don't feel like I'm ever competing. I feel open to try out anything I want, and I feel appreciated when I hit the nail on the head in a project. It's very quiet from 8am-5pm in the cubicle-o-Sarah. I get my work done, I'm happy, my company is happy. 

After hours though, I feel insanely frustrated. I get off at 5pm, sit in rush hour traffic for 45 minutes. I try and go to the gym for about 45 more minutes, putting me home around 630pm. I then cook dinner for me and CB (he cleans everything up, we are very much an even, mutual operation) and we sit down to dinner around 7:15. Around 7:30-8:00pm, I then will try and do all of the blog stuff on my plate. This mostly includes taking photos for posts whether that post is a sponsored post or a cocktail recipe. By this time it is dark outside, and that coveted natural light that everyone goes on and on about is gone. I have artificial overhead light, that's it. 

I know I'm not the only person at this whole blogging gig that works full time, but damn is it hard. I'm so grateful to have the job that I do have, one that allows me to travel from time to time and gives me health and dental insurance and a great 401k. I seem to black out all of that amazing stuff when I see other people nailing things I wish I was nailing. 

I have a post coming up in a couple of days where I've collaborated with Dove. They sent me a series of images that other bloggers had done in the past that the brand really enjoyed. Most of these images were white, bright and beautifully crisp flat lay photos. 

You see though, flat lays are NOT my thing. I try. Lord I try, but I am physically incapable of getting it right. Have you ever heard of that quote from Coco Chanel, "Before leaving the house, a lady should look in the mirror and remove one accessory." Well, that's my problem with the Flat Lay. 

I'll start with two items. 

Then think, well that's boring, and throw in six more things. 

Then I'll think, hey that's an odd amount of white space over in that top right corner, let's throw a bunch of unsharpened pencils in there. 

Oh shit, you know what would kill it on this picture? Let's throw confetti all over everything. BOOM! Now just to place my macbook in there somewhere, where will that fit? 

Oh, and my sparkly mouse. Must use that. 

And all of these stickers too, can't forget those. 

Oh man. Then I'm left with a mess of a photo that is too yellow/dark because it is 8 damn o'clock outside and all I have is the light from the ceiling fan. Then I edit the crap out of the brightness and temperature in hopes to fake it until I make it. 

DUDE--- why can't I lay items on a white background like EVERYONE ELSE? Where was that Flat Lay 101 class at the University of Tennessee? I could really use that right about now. 

And I wonder why everyone else's is so much better than mine. I need to cut myself some slack. 

As I was working on the photos for Dove (please have mercy on me when you see some of them, bless my heart I tried) I had everything laid out exactly how I wanted it, when the Jack Russell Terrier terror in my life came bounding in out of absolutely no where and wrecked the whole thing. 

I screamed at her. Loud. 

She put her tail between her legs and ran under the bed scared of me.

I'M A TERRIBLE DOG MOM. 

That damn FLAT LAY.  

I'm just having a hard time over here keeping up with the instagram Joneses. Need more peonies. Need more Rebecca Minkoff tassel bags. Need more pretty donuts.  MUST FIGURE OUT HOW TO FLAT LAY before I go insane.