Female Fan Does Not Equal Kitchen

Here's something crazy.... my favorite week of the year is also my least favorite week of the year. 

Super Bowl week for a sports fan -- I don't care if you're a girl, a guy, my 90 year old grandmother or my beagle General, a sports fan is a sports fan, no matter the gender-- should be the most exciting week of the year. The only other time of year I think could rival that of the Super Bowl, is March Madness, which I also go giddy for. 

"So, why is it your least favorite week of the year then, Sarah?"

I don't get easily offended by most things in this world, I really don't. I mean, I laugh at pretty much everything that Beige Cardigan and the Fat Jewish post on Instagram. What DOES offend me though is anytime someone equates being a "female fan" with the kitchen.

My friend Jessica sent me this article knowing I'd feel the exact same way she did about it. She was correct. The headline talks about how this company in particular is trying to reach "Female Fans" with Super Bowl social effort. 

The article starts by saying advertising during for the Super Bowl is male oriented because brands haven't figured out a way to reach female fan viewers. Do you want to know their plan on how they're going to reach female sports fans??? Do you?

By encouraging them to use the hashtag #gamedaytraditions and sharing Super Bowl Party hosting tips. This is how they plan to reach the female sports fan. LOLZZ! 

The fastest way to piss off a female sports fan is to equate watching sports with being in the kitchen. I don't know about you but I don't have a television in my kitchen. Would you like to know how much cooking I did this year during football Sunday? None. Not one second. We ordered pizza literally every Sunday because neither of us wanted to miss a second of the game. 

Are you an advertiser who wants to market to female fans? Do you want to know how? I'll tell you how, it's quite simple. 

Treat us like one of the boys. Take the 30 second spot you'd do for your male audience, and replace the male actor with a female. Boom, that's it! I kid you not, that's all you have to do. We are just like one of the guys you're trying to reach. We know the sport as well as they do, and we want to do all of the things that the boys do during the game. 

We want to eat wings.

We want to drink beer.

We want to eat pizza.

We want to look at the cheerleaders -- I'm not joking, we all want to look because we want to be them... girls are weird, I'll give you that.

We want to win money in Draft Kings. 

We want to win our fantasy league.

We want to throw things at the Television when our QB gets picked.

We want to scream uncontrollably when our RB kicks on the jets... He gon. 

We want to watch the pre-game.

We want to watch the post-game.

We want to argue with the opposing fans.

We want to support our team for every single second of every single game.

Just like the boys. 

I would die if these commercials aired female actors in place of the original male actors. I. WOULD. DIE. 

We want to steal the fence from the front yard again because it worked great last game, and have our husband who is at home drinking coffee get mad at us when he sees the fence is gone again.

Whaaaa? Woo, Go Cardinals! 

We want to hand our sleeping baby off to our husband and race outside to let our emotions out, slamming repeatedly on the horn in our car. 

YAH TEXANNNNNNNNNNNS! 

We want the only words we ever say to be "Discount Double-Check" because we love Aaron Rodgers so much.
Discount Double-Check...Discount Double-Check...Discount Double-Check...Discount Double-Check...Discount Double-Check...Discount Double-Check...

We want to sit in the stands holding weird dolls with the highest amount of certainty that we are single-handedly leading our team to victory. You're welcome that we are your fans, team. 

We want to welcome, with open arms, the chick that brings Tostitos to the party even though we really don't know her. We will call her Cindy, among other nicknames like: 
"Cindy-Mindy-Lindy-Loooooooooo" and 
"Cind-ayyyyyy My Ride Or Dieeeeeeeee" 
....Only to find out that her name is Katie.    
Hayyyyyy GIRL HAYYYY, Kat-ayyyyyy! 

We want to stuff our face and guzzle beer with our bestie at B-dubs

We want to make the ultimate sleeper pick...

We think Aikman's touchdowns were unbelievable.

I think you advertisers should get the point by now. 

If you so desperately want to figure out the super secret code for reaching the "female fan" just think of us like you do all of your other fans. We aren't in the kitchen, we aren't wearing pink jerseys, we aren't nagging our husbands to take the trash out with 2 and a half minutes to go in the 4th quarter. 

We are eating pizza, watching football all day long, wearing our favorite player's jersey in our favorite team's colors, drinking beer and screaming at the top of our lungs at our idiot left tackle who keeps letting our quarterback get BLASTED. 

So there. You're welcome. Now you have all of the information you need to advertise to us.