It was only just recently that I realized I have anxiety over seemingly everything. I've always described myself as this laid back, chill girl that can just go with the flow. It has now occurred to me that by "laid back" and "chill" I was predominately referring to my absence of care regarding which bar we'd be going to that night. For some reason, this whole time I've equated my laid back personality with the never needing or even wanting a specific plan.
Last night though, as CB was insisting that I watch YouTube videos on "Skiing 101," my anxiety over the whole thing was shooting through the roof. I was being negative nancy, and sheer panic coursed through my veins.
"Laid back" and "chill" Sarah would've been like, "Yeahhhh, man. Gnarly. Sweet. This will be cool, dawg."
BUT... the only phrase actual Sarah could spit out was, "How many people have you seen get carried off in an ambulance? Like, what's the over/under on me breaking a limb?"
Perhaps it has something to do with being 29, rather than 21. Or perhaps I have always been anxiety prone, I was just in denial. Either way, I thought I'd compile a list of things that send me into an immediate panic. If I've said it once I've said it 100 times, admitting you have a problem is the first step.
1. When someone yells, "Partner Up!" yet I'm there alone
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
2. When my friends are late meeting me at a party, and I don't know anyone else there.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
3. When someone's dog sniffs my crotch
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
4. Not knowing whether or not you're going to hug someone you've just met at the end of the night.
We started with a handshake, barely talked all night but everyone else is hugging. Do we hug now like besties? I'm going to make this awkward. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
5. The first kiss
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
6. When the airplane dips in altitude suddenly
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
7. A man coming up to ask me for my spare change at the gas station (or anywhere)
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
8. My yearly performance review
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
(Last time I broke out into hives, even though it was a good review)
9. Coming home and seeing the gate open when I know the dogs are outside
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
10. Wearing a bathing suit in front of a group of peers
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
11. When someone (other than my mom) calls my cellphone just to chat.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
12. Forcing myself to re-watching my snapchats after a night of drinking
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
13. A knock on the front door
It's 2016!!! Who could possibly be at our front door. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
14. Dropping my cellphone on concrete
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
15. My Email Inbox on Monday Morning
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
16. Sunday Night
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
17. Week 4 of C25K (which I start tonight)
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. 18. "Networking"
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
19. Right when I wake up from a dream where CB breaks up with me
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
(Oh, whewww. Just a dream! Yells at CB: "YOU JERK, how COULD YOU??")
20. Ski Trips
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
I totally agree with nearly all of these especially when I go somewhere and I am the first to arrive and know nobody but the people who are supposed to meet me there.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of these..especially bathing suits..ugh
ReplyDeleteOMG YES. I'm stealing this idea for a blog post!
ReplyDeleteAlso, for skiing - the best advice I got was stay on the easy slopes (NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU) and keep your skis pointed like an inverted v on the way down...this will slow you somewhat. Don't let anyone talk you into doing a hard trail and going slow. This was terrifying when it happened to me. Keep doing the same trail until you're comfortable then move on. Really, there are always people falling and such so you won't be alone if you do fall. Good luck!
Ive come to realize I am totallyyyyyy laid back, as long as I've planned everything ahead of time, have screenshots of the directions and know exactly when I'll be arriving or leaving. Otherwise I am a ball of nervous energy and if who I'm with cant put up with that, see ya!
ReplyDeletehaha this is 100% accurate. the dog crotch thing is the worst. like please don't lift up my skirt! you will have a blast skiing!! just remind yourself of that every so often!
ReplyDeleteThis cracked me up!!!
ReplyDeleteSomeone calls your name, and you have NO idea who they are, but they are quickly approaching you... with arms wide open... 'Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!"
I have an anxiety disorder that wasn't diagnosed until I was 35. Growing up was TORTURE because I would automatically panic and assume the worst case scenario about everything.
ReplyDeleteI'm better now, but not a lot. And I completely agree with everything on this list.
Hahahaha this cracked me up.
ReplyDelete"Holy shit" just sums up a sudden bout of anxiety so perfectly.
Umm, not all of these are just you! Being the only person at a party without a safety net, yeah no thanks. Bathing suit in front of others.... mostly pass!!!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely hate when people ask me if I need help finding anything in the store. I literally just feel my skin crawl because when I do try to explain what I'm looking for it doesn't come out right :o ugh lol!
ReplyDelete#2 is my life...
ReplyDeleteI can remember when Tim would take me to work Christmas Party and leave me alone knowing no one while he went off drinking with work mates, he doesn't do that any more thank goodness. I think we all go holy shit when we drop our mobile phones on the ground. I would also not like it if someone turned up knocking at my front door after dark because who the hell just turns up at night I always think what the hell is it the cops has Tim had an accident or something like that
ReplyDeleteI seriously can relate to almost every single one of those! Especially when someone says to "partner up", I get the most anxiety. I have always preferred to work alone, so when we have to partner up I freak out inside!
ReplyDeletexoxo Lex // LexMeetsWorld
I hate it when someone knock on the door. My anxiety only kicks in when I'm driving in a place I haven't driven before.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amysfashionblog.com/blog-home/
I can't bring myself to watch my snaps or read texts the morning after I've had too much to drink! I don't need to embarrass myself again, right?
ReplyDeleteOk yes to like all of these! Yes.
ReplyDeleteI agree with pretty much all of these! Not having someone to partner with is always the worst for me.
ReplyDeleteYES to all! And to add to #3 - when MY dogs smell other people's crotches. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!
ReplyDeleteWhat I love about your blog is your creative posts that makes me feel like we are chatting. That's what I try to do with my blog and that is the measurement of what makes me want to follow blogs. If a blogger only posts their goals, descriptions of their day to day lives and Friday and weekend updates, I don't follow. That's a blog for their family to follow. This is a BLOG.
ReplyDeleteOh man...I FEEL YOU on so many of these!! I never would have guessed a cool girl like you would be anxious about such things but we are totally in the same boat here! :-p
ReplyDelete