My Worst Food Photos of 2015

*Opens a new post screen. Sits there staring at a blank white box. Eventually closes new post screen*

Repeat x12

*Gets inspired, has post idea*

-or-

*No post for the day*

A big thank you to the good people at the Dallas Observer, for today's post idea which was inspired by them.... otherwise you would've gotten zilch. The blogging struggle is difficult sometimes, it really is. I know sponsored posts are somewhat frowned upon, but I do appreciate the built-in subject matter they provide!

The Observer's post today was about this particular writer's Worst Food Photos of 2015 and I thought that was a brilliant topic for a blog post. Now that proper credit has been given to this bomb writer at the Observer, I'll share with you my worst food and drink photos of 2015.

I tried real hard for you, instagram. I really did. Stupid lighting.

January 2015

The crime scene: Chili's || Love Field Dallas Airport
The dish: Chips and Salsa

I bet you've never had chips and salsa at Chili's before. So unique.

NOOOOO I didn't make CB dunk his chip and pause for the photo.
He was thrilled to do this for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

February 2015 

The crime scene: The NYLO Hotel || Dallas, Tx

The drink: Dirty Gin Martini

Quite possibly the most unattractive dirty gin martini that has ever been served in the history of the United States. So naturally, I photographed it. 

February 2015

The crime scene: The Hereford Grill || Miami, Fl

The dish: Escargot (?!?) 

This was my first time trying snails and I remember it being "not terrible."
Unfortunately this looks disgusting. Ew. 

February 2015

The crime scene: The Crowne Plaza || Miami, Fl

The dish: It appears this was once a cuban, I think?

If you can get passed the elephant in the room of, "Why did you even take this picture?" the next obvious question was why did I need so much ketchup? 
MMMMMM, mouth is totes watering right now. 

March 2015

The crime scene: Braindead Brewing || Dallas, Tx

The dish: Uhhhhh....

After googling the menu at Braindead just now, I think CB ordered the T.A.B.L.E Sandwich which is pictured here. Everything they serve at Braindead is fantastic, I don't know how I've managed to make it look so horrible. It's a gift, I suppose. 

April 2015 

The crime scene: Papa John's Delivery || Arlington, Tx

The dish: Pepperoni Pizza

I'm remember being confident this would produce at least a hundo instagram likes. Everyone likes pizza. I just was clearly too hungry to bother with making it look nice, or waiting to eat. 

May 2015

The crime scene: A Cave || Branson, Missouri 

The drink: Beer, Bat's Blood

I can't believe I wasn't able to get a great photo in a cave???? 
Still scratching my head on this one. 

May 2015

The crime scene: The Wild Detectives Coffee Shop || Dallas, Tx

The drink: Coke

These were not our coke bottles. This was not our table. I took about 12 of this exact photo then gave up. Not sure what kind of art I was hoping to find washed up from someone else's glass bottle. My life (unfortunately fortunately) isn't a Nicholas Sparks novel.

June 2015

The crime scene: Sarah's Deep Ellum Apartment || Dallas, Tx

The dish: Avocado Caprese Chicken Salad 

This is one of the best things I've ever made, you believe me right??????? 

July 2015

The crime scene: The Lakehouse || Dallas, Tx

The dish: Cake

This was at Helene's going away party, and was so so so good.
How did I manage to make cake look gross? But really this looks foul.

August 2015

The crime scene: A Friend's House || Dallas, Tx

The dish: Egg

Tell me, how bad do you wish you had this egg right now? Scale of 1 to 10... 

September 2015

The crime scene: Winstar World Casino Hotel Room || Thackerville, Oklahoma 

The drink: Fireball Mini Bottles

This is not my purse, this is my travel makeup bag that is too many years old to admit. 

It was crystal clear I had a one-track Instagram mind for this photo. This is terribly sad, if I had gone through with posting this, I hope someone would have phoned for help.

 October 2015

The crime scene: Zoli's || Dallas, Tx

The dish: Angioletti (fried dough) 

Ignore this photo, stop what you're doing, hop on a plane if necessary, and go order this dish. 
Do not pass go, do not college $200. 

I'm aware how it looks, but it tastes like an angel whispered directly onto your tastebuds, "I love you, be happy, here's some fried dough."

November 2015

The crime scene: French Wine Festival || Irving, Tx

The dish: Macaroon 

This will go down as the biggest blogger fail of 2015. I managed to make the single most instagram-worthy food item look like a Keebler Elf pooped it out of their tree. 

So there you have it, those are my worst food pictures of 2015. I guess I'm going to need to step my game up a notch in 2016, or take less photos of my meals. 

One or the other.