I Bet You Literally Had No Idea...

As if I would miss a linkup party, or any party for that matter, I'm linking up with Helene to bring you 11 things you probably didn't know about me! 

1. I hate holes This is number one for a reason. Holes are without a doubt my biggest problem in this world. I wouldn't say i'm scared of holes, it is more like I have a serious allergic reaction to holes. I'm sure you're staring at your computer screen thinking, bitch be crazy, but hear me out. 
Did you ever play Super Mario Kart? You know when you're on that dirt track, and a mole jumps out of a hole in the ground? Then it gets stuck on the front of your car and makes a horrific high-pitched squeal. It would then stay there until you could find a body of water to wash him off?
Well, that is the root of my problem with holes, but only certain holes.  *Cue everyone pointing to every hole in the room and asking, "What about that hole?" "Or that one?" "Is that hole ok?"* 
If I see a hole that might have something behind it that I can't see, I'm going to break out into hives and my skin will turn beat red. I'm starting to itch just talking about this so I'll have to move on now. 
2. Never say the word embedded around me Why? Please refer to bullet point number 1. 
Alright cool, now that you guys think I'm a nutcase....
3. I always wanted to be a Real Estate Agent Most children dream about being a singer or actress, but not me. My childhood dream? Real Estate Agent. I don't feel like this dream is dead. I mean, I watch Million Dollar Listings every single Wednesday, so I'm pretty much a broker already. 
4. I have road rage And a very bad potty mouth from the hours of 5pm - 5:45pm Monday - Friday. 
5. I think about my next meal while I'm currently eating CB and I will be at Waffle House and I'll ask him what he'd like to do for dinner. That question is generally answered with a mouth full of hash browns and a furrowed brow. 
"Oh right, sorry. I realize we're currently eating breakfast." *7 minutes pass* "So what did you want to do for lunch today?"
6. I have FOMO I cannot stand to miss out on things. I could go to 100 parties with the exact same people at  the exact same place, but if on the 101st party I couldn't go??  Well, I would feel like my world was crashing down on me and I might never smile again. 
7. Moes beats Chipotle every time I'll eat Chipotle, don't get me wrong, but Moes is life. There is only one Moes in Dallas and it is located within walking distance from my apartment. Coincidence? I think not. 
8. My dogs are not trained, at all I simply don't know how to train a dog. Veenie jumps. She growls at strangers. She is territorial. Gee isn't much better, and barks his face off anytime another dog walks by the window. I am totally lost on how to train a dog. I've read article after article, dog training simply isn't my calling in life. 
9. I could live off cauliflower  There is a Hidden Valley Ranch commercial where this girl is in a movie theatre with what looks to be a popcorn bucket. They zoom in and you realize it's actually a big bucket of cauliflower with ranch dressing. I find myself envying that girl and the life she leads. 
10. I'm obsessed with properly using the word, "literally" Like the rest of America, I abuse the word "literally." When someone uses it properly, I want to hug them and tell them how smart they are. It's a tough word to use correctly, so I'm genuinely impressed when it happens. I'm fascinated by that word. I literally can't even with that word. Similarly, I have the same obsession with making and recognizing a really good pun. 
11. When I'm petting something really cute, I unconsciously bite down really hard I can't help but clench my jaw the whole time I'm petting a puppy. I then realize what I'm doing, and that my teeth my break. That's weird. I shouldn't have said typed that one out loud.

OK BYE.