How to Have A Crawfish Boil

Adding one extra day in the weekend really gives it a little something extra, don't you think? This past weekend I was lucky enough to have a three day holiday weekend, and for once, the weekend didn't just rocket past me.

On Thursday after work, I grabbed my puppies and a box of old clothes and purses I don't need anymore (those are two separate thoughts by the way, I still need the puppies) and headed off to Arlington.

Oh em geeee, CB lives in Arlington! Spoiler alert! I've now narrowed him down to a mere 379,577 people! He's gonna be so mad that I've practically just given away his identity! Oh snap!

Anyway, moving along. The old clothes and shoes were for a yard sale we put together on Saturday morning, but more on that in tomorrow's post! After the yard sale, we headed off to a Crawfish Boil. Now, I've met and befriended a crawfish before, but only once. This was my second time hanging out with these little buggers, and my first time watching the whole process go down!

So you want to be cool like us and pretend to be cajun and have your own crawfish boil in your back yard? I thought you might, here is how it's done. Pro tip: find some boys that don't mind touching those disgusting things, cause that ain't my style.   This process is adapted from Food Network. By adapted I mean this is literally Food Network's recipe. So go to food network's page and ignore me. P.S. I love the word "adapted", when it comes to recipe posts, I find it hilarious. Moving on, I clearly have shiny red ball syndrome today. 

 
Step One: Rinse your crawfish.  I'm sure there is a more effective way to do this, but we they washed and drained the little guys just like whole wheat pasta, with a plastic colander, as shown below. Because pasta and crawfish are pretty much the exact same thing. Also, none of these people are CB. Don't get excited, all you get today is Arlington. 

  Step two: Remove the ones you killed too soon. The fallen soldiers. Salute them, and their time on this earth, by snapping their picture. No need for a nice camera, just use your iPhone. They weren't alive THAT long. Certainly not long enough to warrant a DSLR. #OurPetsHeadsAreFallingOff

  Step Three: Keep your eyes peeled for the one that tries to get away, that fish cray. Get it? Because some people call them cray fish? Get it....... ok fine, bye. 

 
Step Four: Pour in the cajun seasoning in a giant, propane-lit pot. Bonus points if you buy your "authentic" cajun seasoning from somewhere like Tom Thumb or Kroger.  Nothing gives you NOLA street cred like buying cajun seasoning from Kroger. Also, add an "S" to the end of Kroger. Everyone will love that.... Krogers. *SMH*

  Step Five: Pour in your crawfish.  This is when they should officially die. If they're already dead, you're doing it wrong. Also, I think all that other crawfish boil junk (i.e. your corn and potatoes) should already be in the pot by now.  Like I said, this recipe has been "ADAPTED" from food network. 

  Step Six: Let your crawfish cook. Ours cooked for about one pint of beer. I drink beer at a medium-to-fast rate.  Ok I drink kinda fast, what is this amateur hour??? When you've finished your beer, the crawfish are done. 
Step Seven: Find a table. Our table happened to be filthy. Rather than going through the trouble of finding paper towels and sanitizer, simply throw some newspapers down. Newspapers covering a dirty table = fully sterile. Dump.

  Step Eight: Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT eat until everyone has either posed for Instagram with their crawfish, or snapped a close up shot of the crawfish pile. Social media = priority. 

  Step Nine: Now you may eat.   

  And that my friends, is how to have an authentic Cajun Texan Crawfish Boil.  Krogers did not sponsor this post.