So last year I did
this post, and I'm doing it again this year. Why, you ask? Well, because this is the most god awful holiday ever created in this history of man-kind. I do not plan on talking to anyone today and I warned CB of the wrath that would follow if he tried to play a prank on me.
1. People that don't know how to use the "reply-all" email feature. Why is this concept so difficult for people to grasp? Are you needing to continue the conversation so that everyone in the group can stay abreast on the latest developments? Yes? Well you won't believe this, but they make this little button called "reply all" that allows you to email back everyone in the group! #mindblown
2. People that don't make even eye contact with everyone in the group. Do you not like me? Surely you know you haven't made eye contact with me, not even once, in this 30 minute long story you're telling the group...
3. The other team
4. When a group of 5 agrees that one large pizza will be sufficient
5. Top Gear--- Sorry CB, I just don't get it.
6. When everyone at the table is on their phone, including myself, and I'm the first one to notice, but I don't want to put the phone away because I don't want to be the loser without anyone to talk to.
7. Thinking you're being offered a new blog campaign, then finding out it is for yet another tampon/pad/leakage prevention company ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
8. The amount of time I spend thinking about Instagram.
9. Small talk with the Uber driver, "So how long have you been doing uber?"
10. Homeless people with dogs. Hate. As in HAAAATE. Makes my blood boil.
11. Random apps that play sound when I have the sound turned off. Tried to play pacman in my cubicle yesterday. You know, that thing they did in google maps? Well, sound is off on phone, yet pacman theme song blares throughout office for no apparent reason.
12. Fashion bloggers who know that we all just want ONE specific thing that is pictured in their like to know.it instagram photo, but then don't include that one thing in the email....
13. Actually.... Like to know.it
14. People, not named Sarah Webb, who look adorable in converse + skirts. Whyyyyyyy can't I pull this look off?
15. These people:
Them: "How are you doing?"
Me: "Good. How are you?"
Them: "I'm doing well"
16. When you bring your clothes to the fitting room attendant at TJ Maxx and exclaim: "I have 5!"
They grab the items from you, take the time to count them one by one as if you're a liar, then hand them back and ask you.... "5?"
"Yes. 5."
17. Folding Laundry.... psssht I'll often just re-dry it a hundred times.
18. The first 5 minutes of the movie Up ... WHY ELLIE WHYYYYY
19. Sale signs that put the words, "up to" in teeny tiny letters above a 75% off sign
20. The sale section at Forever 21, I've quite literally never found anything in that section, ever.
21. When Veenie does this at the dog park... and I didn't bring a towel
22. Driving
23. When new cast members on Real Housewives act like they don't know what they're getting into. Or act like they've never seen the show and aren't aware of any previous feuds or drama. You've seen the showwwwww, you aren't fooling us Lisa Rinna.
24. People who drive close enough to me on the highway to set my sensors off, really brah?
25. A call center person, who connects me to another call center person, without explaining the reason for my call, after they let me explain the reason for my call to them, in detail.
"Hi my name is David, what can I help you with today?"
"You really going to make me do this allllllllll over again??"
*Sigh*
26. The cost of cable. Like really?? It's 2015 with Netflix and apple TV's... how are we all still suckers and paying for this? TOMORROW WE REVOLT.
27. People who don't know how to efficiently go through the security line at the airport.
Ohhhh I have to take my belt off?
Ohhh I have to take my shoes off?
Ohhhhh I have to empty my pockets?
*Sigh*
28. When a man doesn't get the door for a woman... call me old fashioned
29. People who stand around in the bathroom, but aren't in line.
Me: "Are you in line?"
Them: "Oh, no I'm not in line..."
THEN WHY ARE YOU STANDING IN LIIIIIIINE??
30. Getting stopped for a train at 5:01pm on Friday
31. Well, from 4pm-5pm on Friday
32. When I'm at Subway:
Me: "6 inch, oven roasted chicken, on wheat."
They reply: "On wheat"
*grabs the bread*
Them: "6 inch or footlong?"
Me: "6 inch"
Them: "Ok what kind of meat?"
SIGH.
The. Worst. Holiday. Ever.
peace out.
