Totally Unsubstantiated Serial Podcast Theory

I, like many people on this planet, have a very addictive personality. This is true of pizza, slot machines, Gossip Girl, my cell phone, not running in marathons (totally addicted to that), and my latest addiction, Serial. I skipped lunches in favor of sitting in my car for an extra hour, so I could squeeze in an extra podcast that day. I finished the dang thing in 3 days. I have a Serial Podcast Theory.
If you haven't listened to the Podcast Serial yet, stop reading this blog post.
I have included several images of my favorite thing in the world, animals getting "booped", before I begin discussing Serial today. So anyone who hasn't listened can't see the rest of this post, so I won't be spoiling anything for you. 

Stop reading. Escape out of Venus Trapped in Mars.
Go to Serial's website and immediately start with episode one... report back when you are finished.
For those of you who have listened to Serial... so, like, all of the planet... scroll past these heart warming pictures and let's discuss. 

  and finally... a boop gone horribly wrong!

  
Ok. SERIAL.   
OH EM GEE 

So I have a theory. I finished Serial before I left for my Miami trip, so forgive me, but it has been about a month since I listened to the last podcast. I didn't think my theory was that different, I assumed other people had come to the same conclusion as I had. But when I started telling people my theory, no one I had talked to thought of it from that point of view. 
My theory, that is totally and utterly unsubstantiated, points to Jenn. Jenn and Jay may have killed Hae. Here is what I think might have happened...
Jenn knew just as much about Hae's murder as Jay did. I'm still boggled that she didn't get any kind of charges. She knew where Hae was for 6 weeks and told no one. She was an accomplice by her own admittance, helping to clean the shovels and dispose of Jay's clothes, boots.  
I think Jenn and Jay murdered Hae IN Hae's car. Jenn in the front, Jay in the back. Both holding Hae down, working together in the murder. I believe Jenn and Jay then drive to Jenn's house, to formulate a plan in a private place. Jenn driving Hae's car, Jay following in Adnan's car behind them. They then drove to Jenn's house - where her parents were not home - and they both lift and transfer Hae's body to Adnan's trunk, in private. 
I can keep going with explanation for calls and what happened throughout the rest of the day, but you get the point. 

Ok so let's speculate that Jenn and Jay do it, but why? 

Three Motive Theories I have : (none of which were premeditated) 

Motive #1:  Hae spots Adnan's car in a parking lot nearby to where she is supposed to be picking up her cousin. She knows Jay has Adnan's car, because Adnan had asked Hae for a ride just minutes earlier. Hae drives over because she wants to buy weed for her and Don, who are hanging out later. 
Hae unexpectedly catches Jay and Jenn together, sexually together, cheating on Hae's friend Stephanie. Things accidentally/passionately/spur of the moment escalate from there. Jenn and Jay kill Hae in the heat of the moment.  
Motive #2 Hae sees Adnan's car and goes over to remind/tell Jay that Adnan is needing his car back. Hae catches Jay and Jenn together, sexually, cheating on her friend Stephanie. "How could you two do this, it's her damn birthday!! I'm going immediately to tell her!" Hae screams at Jay and Jenn. Things get out of hand. Jenn and Jay kill Hae in the heat of the moment. 

Motive #3 Either of the above scenarios happen when she spots Adnan's car: going to buy weed, or going to tell Jay that Adnan needs a ride. But then Hae stumbles in on something totally different. Some drug deal way worse. Some crime way worse. Something that she was NOT supposed to see. Jay and Jenn (and maybe even someone else we do not know about) kill Hae. 

Sarah Koenig's smoking gun: The Nisha Call.  Nisha recalls that the only time she ever spoke to Jay was at the Porn store. That is not something a high school aged girl forgets, when she speaks to someone that works at a PORN STORE. That is not something that happens every day-- one of those giggle-worthy situations. 
OK BUT, Jay didn't work at the porn store during Hae's murder. 
My explanations:   1. Butt dial. 
2. Butt dial, turned "oh shit!" freakout from Jay. Followed by Jenn grabbing the phone and saying, "lemme just talk to her." Have we figured out if Jenn and Nisha were friends? It is very possible they were. Alas, Nisha wouldn't distinctly remember a two minute call from her friend, Jenn. 
3. Not really an explanation, but if Adnan had just killed Hae, who was Nisha and Adnan's mutual friend, why would you be intentionally calling Nisha in the first place? To shoot the shit with her? "Wassup girl, what's happening?"  Seems way off...
Ok am I crazy? Did I lose you? Do you agree? Should I shut up? Can someone please call and wish Stephanie a belated Happy Birthday... it was her BIRTHDAY, she would have remembered every single detail of that day, I remember every second of my birthday..... 
WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING TO STEPHANIE ABOUT WHY HER BOYFRIEND WAS NOT WITH HER ON HER BIRTHDAY, DID NOT MAKE ANY CALLS TO HER ON HER BIRTHDAY, DID NOT SPEAK TO HER ON HER BIRTHDAY? I'm not sure about you, but that kind of thing doesn't go over well with a girl. Let's hear from Stephanie next, please.    I digress.... sort of. I'm also opening to discussing the theory of the Jay covering for the serial killer, after reading this.  To sum things up, I have no idea what happened. Ok bye.