I Went to Virginia and All I Got Was This Lousy Punch in the Face

Like I mentioned yesterday, it's Super Bowl week and I have more posts planned than I have days left until the Super Bowl on Sunday!  But those posts are going to have to wait until at least this afternoon because boy do I have a story for y'all. 

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen that I went with CB to visit my family in Virginia. We spent part of the trip in Virginia Beach, and the remainder in Richmond where I grew up. I was excited to have my partner in crime with me on this trip, and on Thursday night we thought it would be fun to check out the VA Beach nightlife. 

We walked into this particular bar to find a Beer Pong Tournament in progress. One thing you should know about me... beer pong is my favorite game in all the land. 

It was crystal clear to CB and me that all the teams in the tournament were besties that did this every Thursday, and we were the outsiders. Everyone was super nice though, and explained their rules up front........ their really dumb rules that DID NOT INCLUDE AN ELBOW RULE. I of course played elbow rule anyway because I'm not a dirty cheater. 

I assure you I have a punch line to this story (hah....foreshadowing)

Much to everyone's surprise, we made it to the semi-finals where we were eventually knocked out by the number 3 ranked beer pong player in the world. Because apparently, beer pong rankings are a thing. He was about 28 feet tall, and with no elbow rules, he pretty much Bozo-Super-Sunday-Show'ed us, bucket after bucket. After apologizing for what I said when I was losing to the number three beer pong player in the world, we all chatted for a while, and he actually turned out to be a real nice guy. 

Even though we were out of the tournament, games continued and some random guy needed a partner. He asked me if I'd like to play. I lit up, seeing as that meant I got to play more beer pong. CB joined me over at the table to cheer me on. I made a few cups, and then all of a sudden a girl came out of no where, grabbed a cup of water off the table, and threw it at CB. This girl was NOT playing in the tournament, and I still quite literally have no idea where she even came from, or why she was such an angry elf.  

I leave my side of the table and immediately go to defend my man. I simply shrug my shoulders and ask her, "Heyyyy what was that for?"  

Next thing I know she comes at me swinging, Jerry Springer style, clocking me right in the forehead. She continues wildly slapping in an attempt to grab my hair or hit me with a chair or whatever it is girls do in bar fights. 

Meanwhile, I have lost all basic motor functions because I am crying so hysterically. CB is able to get in the middle, while some guys manage to pry this nutcase off of me. 

My pristine bar rap sheet flashes before my eyes. Am I going to get kicked out???! Meanwhile, tears flood down my face as CB tries to calm me down. I thought if I were ever in a fight I would be a little tougher, turns out, NOPE!  

Well, I certainly did not get kicked out. It's hard to get kicked out when you can't muster up anything other than tears, let alone a retaliation. Really Sarah??? I expected more from you.

Instead, people kept coming up offering me drinks, and shots and their condolences. The other girl, of course, did get kicked out. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume this wasn't her first bar fight. 

I woke up the next morning and felt a bruise on my forehead, right where she clocked me. I then nodded and smiled to myself, knowing I could now check bar brawl off my bucket list. Don't mess with me, people. 

Do. Not. Mess. With. Me. #SoBadass 

And here are some pictures from my trip, you know, if you're into that basic girl stuff like blogging, and iPhone cameras, and wine, and family. That is for sure not me of course, I'm only into badass things like picking bar fights on the reg. 

Before I sign off today, I've got my girl Morgan from Believe in the Sparks giving five amazing (and very pinworthy might I add) tips for staying relaxed on your wedding day. Can I add a tip #6? 

Tip number 6: don't invite me to your wedding. I'm just way too much of a loose cannon. You'll never know what I'm going to do next! Just kidding. I'm harmless. I can't promise I won't cry though. 

Be sure to check Morgan out on her blog // twitter // facebook // instagram // pinterest 

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In the days leading up to my wedding day I received many comments from strangers and family alike noting my uncharacteristic calm and relaxed demeanor. It's no secret that brides are crazy stressed in the days (or weeks or months) leading up to her big day, but I can sit here and honestly tell you that I wasn't the least bit stressed or nervous about my wedding day. 

I'm a stressed out person by nature. Daily stress constantly takes control of my life. That combined with my extreme type-A and slightly OCD personality produces the perfect formula for an uptight and stressed out bride... Except I wasn't either. I was as calm as a cucumber, and I like to think that these five reasons below had a lot to do with it.

Hire a wedding coordinator.

Hiring a wedding coordinator was the best decision I made throughout my entire planning process. He took all my worries and fears about the wedding and turned them into his priority. He gave me a timeline, an agenda, and he made things happen. Most importantly, he was there on my wedding day planning and designing and coordinating. I didn't have to do a thing on my day other than relax and prepare to take that walk down the aisle. He had everything else under control. If I can give you just one piece of advice for your wedding day, here it is: budget for a wedding coordinator. Make cuts elsewhere in the wedding so you can hire that person who will become your best friend on your day and your lifesaver during your planning process and especially on your wedding day.

Start the day early.

My ceremony was scheduled to begin at 5:00pm, but the wedding day process starting at 7:00 that morning. My girls and I eased through the hair and makeup process while leaving plenty of extra time for mimosa sipping and storytelling. We took our time arriving at the venue, and were able to put on our dresses without a moment of rush. Not one moment of my wedding day felt chaotic or rushed. I had time to sit around and soak in everything happening around me. Create an agenda for your day, and stick to it. Thankfully I had my coordinator who did this for me, but it's something a bride can easily do herself before the big day. Have a timeline, and then add thirty extra minutes to complete each activity. This will give you plenty of extra wiggle room in case there is a hiccup during the day.

Don't stress about the things that you can't control.

The unexpected will happen. You can not anticipate or prepare for every little thing on your wedding day.I arrived at the venue on my wedding day to see a haze of smoke surrounding the property. There was an apparent controlled brush fire happening about a mile from the venue, and the smoke extended for miles. My coordinator did all he could, including calling the mayor of the small town, but it was to no avail. The fire was in full force and there was nothing that could be done to stop it. My initial reaction when I saw the smokey haze was to freak out, but I knew that I couldn't control it and thus a freak out wouldn't help the situation. Thankfully all worked out in the end. The fire wrapped about a couple of hours before the ceremony, and there wasn't a trace of smoke in the air come wedding time!

Keep a mimosa in hand at all times.

I am in no way condoning brides to get drunk before she takes that walk down the aisle, but do believe me when I say that mimosas (in moderation) do wonders for the nerves! Just trust me on this one.

Turn up the music and put on a mini concert with all your best girls before the ceremony starts. 

My bridesmaids did a fabulous job keeping the music playing all day long, but about an hour before the ceremony started, my girls turned up the party music and led us all in song and dance. We belted out a little Miley Cyrus (Party in the USA to be exact) and danced around in our dresses and heels. It was the perfect way to shake out and last minute jitters before walking down the aisle. Not to mention, it was a wonderful memory I share with my girls of that very special day.