Why I've Decided I Like Soccer and You Should Too

I said some things on Social Media last week, and after watching my first World Cup game on Sunday, I'm here to issue a public apology to the sport of soccer. And by sport of soccer, I mean the USMNT. I'm still standing firm on my opinions of all other soccer, for now. But FIFA bandwagon, wait up! This little blogger is hoppin' on, and here's why...

Name one other thing you can watch on television that doesn't have commercials--- don't say Reading Rainbow, because you know you were watching that on VHS, not PBS. Plus it hasn't aired live since 2006, not that I'm keeping track, dammit LeVar we miss you.

Think Red, White and Will Ferrell. 

Thanks to Brooke Lyn for retweeting this and making it fresh in my mind. 

But really, name fan gear better than covering yourself in America from literally head to toe? Here are my suggestions for the best shirts to watch America in. 

I say, if anyone can get this excited over a sport while dressed as Teddy Roosevelt, well then that sport needs to be given a chance.

Although, I thought he was supposed to be the guy from Jumanji. Total lack of American history knowledge, for the win! 

Regardless, as we found out in the final seconds of Sunday's game, literally every last second in soccer has the potential for pee your pants excitement (or poop your pants disappointment as the case may be).

Here is a fun fact, alcohol was banned at stadiums in Brazil eleven years ago to curb game-related violence. Here is the kicker though (hah), Budweiser is a major sponsor of the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Guess who won that shootout (hah)? That's right, America did. 

I mean, Budweiser. I mean, America. I mean, FIFA. Beer.

No for real, nothing. Because it is at 11 flipping AM. Well, other than Reading Rainbow VHS tapes, but I haven't watched those in like, weeks. 

But really, it's a slow time in the sports world right now, might as well tune in. Not like you have football to watch... #sad

And always want to support the US in everything we do!

Did it go in? Yes? We scored. Hoorah. -- Soccer, as explained by Sarah. 

Sooo, yeah. May I have Tim Howard, orrrrrr???

And just because I'm a know-it-all-my-sports-are-better-than-yours brat, here are the things I would change if I were in charge of soccer:

1. Get the acting in check
Dude sneezes from 30 feet away, opposing dude falls down. Foul called.

2. Make the clock count down, not up.
Math is hard.

3. Stop the clock throughout the game. 
So that 5 more minutes don't appear out of thin air for the other team to score. I realize that would lead to commercials, but still, no commercials, thanks.

4. Amendment to change #3:
If US is losing at the end of the game, give them 5 more minutes to score. But no one else, just them.

5. Give Sarah Tim Howard
At the end of regulation. Or after another 5 minutes. Or whenever is fine, I can wait.

KTHANKSBYE

#USA #USA #USA

(Isn't it funny how everything revolves around hashtags these days?! #deepthoughtswithSarah)