Blogger Perks

I would by lying if I said that there weren't some pretty sweet perks involved in blogging. I've rambled on and on, countless times about the friendships blogging has given me access to, but today's post is about those product perks we get! 

As a lifestyle blogger, we don't generally get offered the free shoes, clothes, bags and sunglasses that the fashion bloggers get. Hello, I live for clothes, why not me?! Granted, I'm a cheapskate. TJs and H&M own my heart, but that is neither here nor there. Well, I guess it is because I've now come full circle in this paragraph and answered my own question as to why no one wants to send me that c/o Kate Spade bag... because I'll find it on my own for half price, with a red line tag to take an additional 25% off then use my card to take another 15% off followed by a $10 of $50 purchase coupon. 

Aside from my obvious yearning for boxes of Tory bags, Vince Camuto boots and Anthro fit and flare, full skirted, brightly printed sundresses to magically appear at my door with a perfectly penmanshipped, handwritten note that says, "These will look fab on you Miss Sarah! All of us at Anthropologie can't wait to see them styled and photographed on Venus Trapped in Mars!" I do dream about a few other perks as well....

Of all the blogger perks we enjoy, these would be unreal...

1. House Cleaning Service 

Things I hate more than cleaning.... Jessica Simpson, chunky tomato sauce, public speaking. That concludes the list of things I hate more than cleaning. I, Sarah Webb, would like to cordially invite you into my apartment to clean my 1100 square feet of space. I will give an honest, and more importantly fantastic review of your company. Because, if I know anything, it's that there is no such thing as a bad cleaning job if you're not the one doing it. Prepare for a sparkling (literally) blog review when you pick me. 

2. Pet Boarding

Let's talk about the struggles of being a single, two dog mom that travels semi-regularly for work. Although I don't go on trips every month, I go on trips, every few months, that last 10+ days. The cheapest place I've found in Dallas is $25/night PER DOG. Do that math, carry the one, add the five... that brings our grand total to $500 for a 10 night work trip. The pups' vacations costs almost as much as mine! And guess what? My work does not pay for my dog's boarding. I, Sarah Webb, would love to review your kennel services for my two pups Gee and Vee. They are good little pups (*cough* sorta *cough*) who will behave themselves and be good daycare attendees. They won't steal any other pup's lunch money, nor will they push the little guys into the lockers. So pick me, Gee and Vee! 

3. Gasoline

Would you like for me to review your regular unleaded gasoline? I stopped at a place in Uptown this weekend, that did not have a sign displaying their prices. I didn't think much of that until I started pumping and saw that the price was $4.59 a GALLON. What in the holy toledo scam are you running? So there is nowhere to go but up from that experience. I, Sarah Webb would love to review your regular unleaded gasoline. I'm sure yours would taste like a gourmet espresso in a world full of instant store brand decaf to my little ride.  

4. Pet Hair Vacuum

This is where we get challenging. I've never found a vacuum that works to pick up my pet hair. Actually, let me rephrase that a bit, I've never found a vacuum that works for more than two months. I have a white dog, and a black dog. No surface is safe. So do you produce (*cough* dyson *cough*) a vacuum that is up to the challenge? Prove it. Put your money where your mouth is. I, Sarah Webb, want to review your pet hair vacuum. (Unless blogger perk #1 listed above pans out, of course)

5. Keratin Treatment 

And I'm not talking any of this bullcrap nonsense you've got in the salons now. I want the Keratin circa 2 years ago. The kind with the toxic fumes that required you to wear a gas mask during application. Let's do a before and after. Keratin treatments are supposed to last 3 months. Well I've had one in the last three months and it was a load of dog poo. So slap that gas mask on and prepare to tame my mane, because I, Sarah Webb, want to review your REAL Keratin Treatment. 

6. Tickets

But I've been begging for this since before Johnny Football was finally drafted. I, Sarah Webb, want to review all of your tickets. Any tickets, to any sporting event. It can be your child's tee ball game, ticketz a make her dance. 

But let's be real here, I peaked at the Kentucky Derby.


What blog perk do you really want?