The Venus Hijack

Hi, I'm Venus. Or you may know me as Vee, or perhaps Veenie, or sometimes my mom sings in the shower, "Veenie Veenie bo beenie, fee fi fo feenie, Veeeeeenie". I'm not quite sure what to make of that, I think she is just bored. Needless to say, I'll respond to anything you call me. Actually, 98% of the time, I'll even respond to "General Neyland", especially if there is food involved. 

Well, lookie here. Mom left her iPad at home today, and her computer unlocked. You see, my puppy brother has taken over the blog in the past, and won't stop bragging about all the comments he got on his post. Every day, General is all, "Ohhh I am so well liked, ohhhh I got so many comments, everyone likes me and no one likes poopy face, Veenie" yada yada yada. 

I mean, it isn't my fault that Mom left all of her stuff at home today, and her computer unlocked. That is just straight up errisponsible. Since I don't follow anyone's rules but my own, I'm going to take over this blog today. I'm going to take over mom's instagram account today, I'm going to hijack mom's day holding the blog baton account, and, if I can figure out how to catch that bird on the home screen of twitter, then I'm going to take that over too. 

Mom thinks I'm a dummy, that isn't true. I just don't listen to her ramblings. I'm actually brilliant. We are talking Albert Einstein brilliance. How else would I know I could get away with not listening to her blabber on? Everyday she is all, "Stop jumping, Venus." "Calm down, Venus." "Stop peeing yourself, Venus." Hah, jokes on her. Clean my pee up, woman. 

I'm so smart that I even know on Mondays, we talk about our weekend. And what a weekend I had. It was the best ever. Even better than that weekend I built the fort out of Mom's shoes, some of her socks, expensive down pillow stuffing and the man-made moat filled with my pee. 

Saturday morning my brother and I woke mom up at 7am. We both know how much she just hates getting to sleep in on her day off. She neglected to set her alarm clock for a sunrise wakeup, so we took the liberty to cock-a-doodle-do her with kisses until she got herself out of bed. She always worries we will pee on the floor if she doesn't get up, I'm not sure why she would think that. We are very refined puppies.  

Up first on the agenda was a trip to our favorite place in Dallas, Mutts.  

After the dog park, we went home to eat some lunch because my belly was growling at me. Or was I growling at it? I'm not really sure. Right as I was about to settle in for a little nap, the strangest thing happened. My mom asked me and General who wanted to go for a long walk. This was General's answer, so I was chosen for the adventure. I pooped myself I was so excited.

So off mom and I went on our walking adventure through Downtown Dallas! 

When we got wherever it was that we were, guess who we saw?! My friend, Helene! I was so excited my tail nearly broke off. 

Mom and I patiently waited for some yummy sliders from Helene, then we dug right in. By we I mean, mom, I'm not allowed to have people food. But there is no harm in looking right?

I resorted to the sweet puppy dog face, but the begging still didn't work. Mom is a tough cookie to crack. With one of us having a full belly (rude), we headed home. That night, we even rented a movie. Mom never, ever ever rents movies. I think it may just be because she didn't know that she could even do that on her television. Dummy. She rented the movie Spring Breakers. I didn't think much of it...

But my brother got all worked up over it...

I guess it's a guy thing? I'm not really sure. So that was my best day ever. How was your weekend? 

Don't forget to follow mom me on Instagram and on the Blog Baton so I can win bragging rights over my puppy brother for most loved pup. You know you love me more, right?