Dang man, I'm such a grouch.
On my lunch break yesterday I called Time Warner Cable to cancel my service because I'm spending $140/mo on cable and using it only for the DVR and internet.
So I tell my life story to this man about why I want to cancel, and 15 minutes later he says ok let me pass you on to someone that can help you. Who the heck are you then, buddy? He passes me on to the next lady and of course I have to start over from the beginning, and needless to say I find my gears starting to grind. She of course doesn't let me cancel, has a comeback to everything I say, starts offering me weird crap to stay on board with them ("but I can send you a tablet if you stay") and I eventually just lose my damn shit with her, for lack of a better word, and hung up. Am I still getting the tablet?
After the anger (over nothing) cleared, I realized how grouchy and bitchy I was with this poor lady who doesn't get paid enough to work in an inbound call center for a cable company. I thought to myself, why did I do that? I am never angry with my friends, I never lose my cool with my family, I'm that girl that is always bopping around from dandelion to dandelion with a smile on my face singing my little happy song to anyone who will listen. Even if people I know aren't kind to me, I'll be kind to them.
So why do I lose my cool, then Incredible Hulk out into bitch mode and become Oscar Sarah the Grouch with random strangers?
Well to answer your my question, because there are certain people who just grind my dang gears. The first step is admitting you have a problem, so here are the people that can turn me into a green and grouchy mega monster within seconds.
1. Girls who stand too close to me in Turbo Kick
Dude back up!! We are side kicking and front kicking and roundhousing and kick kicking and punching and jumping. There is tons of room for you over there. Way over there. Away from me. Back your mess up.
2. Salesmen who try and shoot the shit instead of getting down to the point
I do Marketing and Advertising for a living, so I am the person who chooses which magazines our company will be advertising in. So I get a lot of salesmen trying to sell me.
Phone rings: "Saaaaaraaaahhhh (always said all long and dragged out like that) It's Boone from the Maine Sportsman.
Me: "Hi."
Boone: "Hows the weather up there?!??? Are you cold? Is it cold up there?"
Me: "I'm in Texas, I'm below you."
Boone: "So the weather is cold? I don't know about you but I'm so ready for Spring."
Me: "Hah. Sure."
Boone: "Spring is just great. Especially since it is so cold now. How much snow do you have on the ground? I bet you have so much snow on the ground. I'm just ready for some Spring."
Me: Leaves him hanging with awkward silence (aka get to your damn point, sir. What are you trying to sell me so I can shoot it down, hang up this phone and get back to my work.)
3. People who are wrong when I'm right
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I'm not going to argue unless I'm right. Which is always.
4. People who charge too much for their product
Ticket scalpers. Oil change guys. Cable companies. Cab drivers.
5. People who have a "spiel"
Ring Ring: "Geico road side assistance this is Wendy how may I help you?"
Me: "I have a flat tire, I need a tow truck"
Wendy: "Oh my gosh, I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry you are having to deal with this. I understand how frustrating this time in your life can be. I want to personally apologize and offer my deepest condolences and sympathy for what you're going through at this troubling time in your life. "
Me: "About that tow truck..."
6. Opposing Team's Fans
Why are you in my stadium. Get outta here with that noise. I'm going to intentionally accidentally bump into your shoulder and make it look like it was your fault just to prove a point that I am superior and my team is superior and you need to get out of my way and out of my stadium.
7. When the people at Subway and/or Chipotle can only remember the bread I asked for
Subway Scenario:
Me: "6inch Oven Roasted Chicken on Wheat"
Them: "On wheat?"
Me: "Yes"
Gets wheat bread out and cuts it
Them:"And what kind of meat?"
Me: 
Chipotle Scenario:
Me: "Chicken Burrito with black beans and no rice"
Gets out burrito wrap, steams it in that steamer
Them: "What kind of rice?"
Me: "No rice"
Them: "Black or Pinto?"
Me: "Black."
Them: "What kind of meat?"
Me:
Ok, I feel a little bit better already. What are you grouchy about? Or am I insane?
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And I have a quick announcement to make! Helene and I want to host a Valentine's Day linkup! It will take place on Friday, February 14th. Fan Friday will still continue as normal too. So you can link up anything VDay related, Fan Friday related or if you are really talented you can link up a post that is about sports but Valentine's Day themed (i.e. how you would like Eric Decker to lick a box of chocolates off bring you a box of chocolates).
