Dang man, I'm such a grouch.
On my lunch break yesterday I called Time Warner Cable to cancel my service because I'm spending $140/mo on cable and using it only for the DVR and internet.
So I tell my life story to this man about why I want to cancel, and 15 minutes later he says ok let me pass you on to someone that can help you. Who the heck are you then, buddy? He passes me on to the next lady and of course I have to start over from the beginning, and needless to say I find my gears starting to grind. She of course doesn't let me cancel, has a comeback to everything I say, starts offering me weird crap to stay on board with them ("but I can send you a tablet if you stay") and I eventually just lose my damn shit with her, for lack of a better word, and hung up. Am I still getting the tablet?
After the anger (over nothing) cleared, I realized how grouchy and bitchy I was with this poor lady who doesn't get paid enough to work in an inbound call center for a cable company. I thought to myself, why did I do that? I am never angry with my friends, I never lose my cool with my family, I'm that girl that is always bopping around from dandelion to dandelion with a smile on my face singing my little happy song to anyone who will listen. Even if people I know aren't kind to me, I'll be kind to them.
So why do I lose my cool, then Incredible Hulk out into bitch mode and become Oscar Sarah the Grouch with random strangers?
Well to answer your my question, because there are certain people who just grind my dang gears. The first step is admitting you have a problem, so here are the people that can turn me into a green and grouchy mega monster within seconds.
1. Girls who stand too close to me in Turbo Kick
Dude back up!! We are side kicking and front kicking and roundhousing and kick kicking and punching and jumping. There is tons of room for you over there. Way over there. Away from me. Back your mess up.
2. Salesmen who try and shoot the shit instead of getting down to the point
I do Marketing and Advertising for a living, so I am the person who chooses which magazines our company will be advertising in. So I get a lot of salesmen trying to sell me.
Phone rings: "Saaaaaraaaahhhh (always said all long and dragged out like that) It's Boone from the Maine Sportsman.
Me: "Hi."
Boone: "Hows the weather up there?!??? Are you cold? Is it cold up there?"
Me: "I'm in Texas, I'm below you."
Boone: "So the weather is cold? I don't know about you but I'm so ready for Spring."
Me: "Hah. Sure."
Boone: "Spring is just great. Especially since it is so cold now. How much snow do you have on the ground? I bet you have so much snow on the ground. I'm just ready for some Spring."
Me: Leaves him hanging with awkward silence (aka get to your damn point, sir. What are you trying to sell me so I can shoot it down, hang up this phone and get back to my work.)
3. People who are wrong when I'm right
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I'm not going to argue unless I'm right. Which is always.
4. People who charge too much for their product
Ticket scalpers. Oil change guys. Cable companies. Cab drivers.
5. People who have a "spiel"
Ring Ring: "Geico road side assistance this is Wendy how may I help you?"
Me: "I have a flat tire, I need a tow truck"
Wendy: "Oh my gosh, I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry you are having to deal with this. I understand how frustrating this time in your life can be. I want to personally apologize and offer my deepest condolences and sympathy for what you're going through at this troubling time in your life. "
Me: "About that tow truck..."
6. Opposing Team's Fans
Why are you in my stadium. Get outta here with that noise. I'm going to intentionally accidentally bump into your shoulder and make it look like it was your fault just to prove a point that I am superior and my team is superior and you need to get out of my way and out of my stadium.
7. When the people at Subway and/or Chipotle can only remember the bread I asked for
Subway Scenario:
Me: "6inch Oven Roasted Chicken on Wheat"
Them: "On wheat?"
Me: "Yes"
Gets wheat bread out and cuts it
Them:"And what kind of meat?"
Me: 
Chipotle Scenario:
Me: "Chicken Burrito with black beans and no rice"
Gets out burrito wrap, steams it in that steamer
Them: "What kind of rice?"
Me: "No rice"
Them: "Black or Pinto?"
Me: "Black."
Them: "What kind of meat?"
Me:
Ok, I feel a little bit better already. What are you grouchy about? Or am I insane?
------
And I have a quick announcement to make! Helene and I want to host a Valentine's Day linkup! It will take place on Friday, February 14th. Fan Friday will still continue as normal too. So you can link up anything VDay related, Fan Friday related or if you are really talented you can link up a post that is about sports but Valentine's Day themed (i.e. how you would like Eric Decker to lick a box of chocolates off bring you a box of chocolates).
I am rolling laughing as I too have cussed out the cable people, Direct TV is my enemy, the credit card company, the critter removal people, pretty much anyone who annoys the shit of me and transfers me 12 times. The worst though, sales people, as in I walk into a furniture store, I do not need your help, I do not want it, do not follow me, if I need you I will find you.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh so hard!! I completely understand what you mean! "Am I still getting the tablet?" lmao!
ReplyDeleteI'm like you - generally, for the most part, I get along with everyone and I'm nice to everyone. However, ALL of these scenarios would totally rub me the wrong way. And when someone rubs me the wrong way, EVERYTHING they do is the absolute worst thing in the world.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree with you on these. Dealing with cable people is one of my least favorite things to do because I ALWAYS end up in a bad mood. Now I just make my man-friend do it because he can magically get us $50 off of our bill.
ReplyDeleteA // Equal Parts of a Whole // equalpartsofawhole.blogspot.com
YES! THE CHIPOTLE PEOPLE!
ReplyDeleteI try to just order "burrito bowl for here" so that I don't have to repeat myself but it feel unnatural.
7. People at Time Warner Cable - because that's just a basic truth for EVERYONE, they piss me off too!
ReplyDeleteYou are not the only one that gets angry at the people who work at call centers. Anything like that is SO frustrating. I also get sooo mad at the automated services and end up yelling into the phone when the computer can't understand what I'm saying. I'm getting mad right now thinking about it!
ReplyDeleteLol you make me giggle. I just hope to never be on the receiving end of your wrath.
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side of number 2: I used to work in customer service and it would irritate the ever loving shit out of me when people would make small talk/tell me their life story instead of just getting down to the issue that needed to be addressed. Like why do I need to know your cat has cancer if all you want is your account balance. I try to keep that in mind whenever I have to contact a company.
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side of number 2: I used to work in customer service and it would irritate the ever loving shit out of me when people would make small talk/tell me their life story instead of just getting down to the issue that needed to be addressed. Like why do I need to know your cat has cancer if all you want is your account balance. I try to keep that in mind whenever I have to contact a company.
ReplyDeleteI think I get angry with the same people. That'd be cool if you still got the tablet :)
ReplyDeleteYessss!! Could not agree more!
ReplyDeleteI get grouchy with strangers too. I called Comcast to try to lower our bill and they basically told me anything I did would actually make my bill higher. I hate them. and excited for the link up! I will need to think of something fun to write about.
ReplyDelete-- jackie - jade and oak
OH YOU GOT THE EMOJI!!!! that is awesome. i love it. and i am 100% with you on all of this. almost everyone pisses me off tho (i'm a big grump)
ReplyDeleteHalf of the time I could just punch someone in the face (not seriously but figuratively). I HATE calling Time Warner, they are AWFUL! I don't know who trains those customer service people but that person should be fired. I lose my cool fairly quickly with stupidity, don't waste my time and I won't waste yours or yell at you. Ugh some people!
ReplyDeleteThe General makes the best faces, seriously. I adore him.
ReplyDeleteThe cable company (and other places like that) drive me nuts. I had to cancel my newspaper subscription and I just kept repeating "It doesn't matter what you offer, I'm cancelling." I said it at least 17 times. I wasn't even listening to her. then SHE got huffy with ME. Bitch don't even.
The chipotle thing drives me bonkers. I started just saying one thing at a time because I know they'll never get it. But still I walk up and say "soft shell tacos to go" "Is that for here or to go?" **facepalm**
I swear to baby jesus my boo thang had to pull my crazy ass away from the phone the other day as I tried to talk to Sprint. I pretty much went ape shit on the 8th person I got transferred to... and we still have our crappy sprint service. I love that you vented it all out here!
ReplyDeleteALL of this! Im a total grouch to strangers and I don't care who knows it. Namely--BAD DRIVERS. I will mean mug, flip you the bird, and cut you off just to get revenge. Whew. That sounded crazy.
ReplyDeleteSales people tick me off too - and I can get so mean with them, sometimes I embarrass myself. Especially at (fast food) restaurants and people taking my order - or when they mess an order up!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was always just my luck that the people at Chipotle/Moes/Qdoba/etc. ask me to repeat my order a dozen times. I'm like, "chicken burrito, no beans, no rice". And then I get the inevitable "what kind of beans", "what kind of rice", "steak or chicken". MOFO WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT A CHICKEN ONLY BURRITO? Give me chicken and some shredded cheese in a tortilla and leave that other nasty crap alone.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I guess your post touched on a nerve. :)
I'm a manager in customer service for a bank, so I am the kindest person EVER when I have to call customer service. The people that make me grouchy are usually the customers who can't answer the questions they're being asked.
ReplyDeleteMe: "Can I have your address, please?"
Them: "123 Main Street"
Me: "And the city, state, and zip code?"
Them: "90210"
Me: "And the city and state, please?"
Them: "Beverly Hills"
Me: "And the state?"
GIVE ME YOUR FULL DAMN ADDRESS! Why is it necessary to go through that?! Some peoples kids...
The people who stand too close to you in the checkout line really make me mad. "Um, hi, you don't need to inspect the contents of my cart so could you please give me room to breathe?"
ReplyDeleteDude, girls in fitness classes back off. I set up a boundary around myself and re-claim it each break with my water bottle and towel fortress. You deserve to grouch, bitch and moan about all of that. General does too!
ReplyDeleteYou better still get a tablet!
ReplyDeleteHate small talk. Hate. it.
ReplyDeleteI am a perfectionist like my mom and irrationally angry like my dad, so I cannot stand being judged - and this includes grades!! I was given a participation grade in my online class a few days ago and I have told every one who will listen "How DARE this teacher judge me!" When in fact, 'judging' me is literally part of her job description....
ReplyDeleteBut your things sound like totally valid reasons to get angry!
#5 - when I worked as a pharmacy tech at Walgreens they started this thing where we had to greet everyone with "welcome to Walgreens," even at the Pharmacy counter after they'd already been IN Walgreens for a good 10 minutes. When they left we had to say "be well!!" That's not a joke. "Thank you and be well!" There were even secret shoppers that would come in and make sure employees were saying it. So stupid. So embarrassing. ...Also, opposing teams fans: there's waaaaaaaay too many of them at Arizona stadiums!!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! New follower here... and I just died laughing at this because everything you say is SO true! No worries, your not insane. And if someone thinks you are, then we can be insane together! Haha.
ReplyDeleteHahah! People who are wrong when I am right get me mad all the time! Good call girl!
ReplyDeleteYou should get a Chromecast!
ReplyDeleteI think cable people deserve a category just for them, like when they call you after you cancel your $100 a month service and are perfectly in love with your new $12 a month Netflix service, and have the nerve to offer you a new 2 year CONTRACT for $80 a month; look missy unless you can do better than $12 a month don't call me, or hide your "we will buy you out of your current cable contract" mail spam in a pretty handwritten envelope that looks like a Christmas card and fool me into opening it. There, now I can breathe. Thank you Sarah :)
ReplyDeleteNatalia
I def understand how Time Warner could piss you off..I used to work for them..the way they go about handling customers could piss of the sweetest of the sweetest
ReplyDeleteI would like to add to this list the following people: the person in front of you in the 20 items or less check out lane at Walmart with 50+ items and the people who wait to the last minute to merge from 2 lanes to 1 lane! and yes, having to repeat yourself to 3+ people on customer service just might be one of the most frustrating things ever.
ReplyDeleteEva
Oh my gosh, yes. Opposing fans in MY boys stadium. Get on outta here with that noise! And subway and chipotle. You have one job. Remember what I say and make it right... Ok, that's two jobs technically but for the sake of the topic, just roll with it.
ReplyDeleteYou seriously had me laughing out loud at my desk. In particular, I totes agree with you on the opposing team BS.. UGH SHUT UP!!!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I love your blog and we all have our oscar days.
Can't WAIT to link up the v-day party!
All of this. Especially the food part because... well... food. I get really annoyed when I order a pizza because I like both extra sauce on the pizza and extra dipping sauce for the pizza/breadsticks... I like a lot of sauce. And I swear, my head almost explodes when they forget. If they remember the dipping sauce, I'm not as angry... but when they forget both.. grr!!
ReplyDeleteBahahahaha....that face always comes out when ignorance takes my food order...mainly because I'm hangry.
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY agree with turbo kick. I super dislike when someone is super late and then they try to squeeze between you and that place you so carefully left slightly small enough to not fit anyone, but enough room that you have enough room to do your thing. It's like really? I got here on time and now you're trying to block my way?
ReplyDeleteOh gosh. The subway/chipotle thing is incredibly annoying. I've learned to just say one thing at a time. It keeps me calmer and they don't have to ask me a million questions.
ReplyDeleteEverything's been annoying me lately. EVERYTHING!
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate to #3. I can let some things go, but if I KNOW I'm right, I cannot let it go. I will go ahead and pull up wikipedia pages just so everyone around me gets their facts straight.
ReplyDeleteI'm working on that.
Haha this was a joy to read! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who gets a little angry at little things
ReplyDeleteThe Artistically Challenged: Beauty, Fashion, Music, Lifestyle Blog
I have punch a lady before at turbo kick. That what you get for standing to close to me. I told her I was sorry before.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, Time Warner SUCKS. I went through this same exact thing the last time I called them. We were paying close to $200 for cable and internet. When I called to cancel, I got switched to 4 different people (the last one sent me to the very FIRST person I had talked to....fancy that!). THEN I found out that we should have only been paying about $150 per month regularly..which is better but still ridiculous. After their "please don't go" speeches, I finally cancelled and switched over to AT&T Uverse. I was paying less, and we got receivers for every tv in the house and a DVR. Winning!!
ReplyDeletexo Denise
lovelybohemian.blogspot.com
This list cracks me up! And I am totally the same way when I am at a Browns game! Actually, I am pretty much like that about the Browns if I am anywhere north of Columbus in Ohio!!! While I may be friends with a few chosen Steelers fan...do not even think of wearing that crap in my house, my car, my stadium, etc.!
ReplyDeleteI actually had a guy ask me for directions one time and he was wearing a Steelers shirt. I looked right at him, told him I couldn't help a Steelers fan and continued to walk away. Sad, but true! lol!
These are hilarious. People that turn me into a raging bitch are the drivers here in Tuscaloosa. They make up their own dang rules!!! My cheapskate land lord ugh...And debt collectors that call my house looking for someone who used to live here that I have no clue who they are or how to get in touch with them, and then after telling them that, they ask for my name. wtf? Just no. And they call almost every day like my answer is going to be different some how.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I do the SAME THING, but I always feel guilty afterwards. It's also probably because we're perfect & hold everyone to the same standards (seriously, I'm super accommodating at work, so erryone else should be the same :))
ReplyDeleteAh! I have AT&T for my wireless, and they told us we were getting a certain speed of internet, when it turns out.. we were only getting up to that speed, and apparently it never reached that speed whatsover. My boyfriend got SO mad at them! I always try not to lose my cool talking to cable people, but it's so hard!
ReplyDeleteOmg that angry face is amazing lmao
ReplyDeleteOh man. I feel your pain. Recently I had to call my bank for an inaccurate charge on my debit card...to which I was advised to call the company... so I did... and then was transferred to FIVE different people, all of which had to hear the entire story, and the story grew to include each additional person I had spoken to and their suggestions... such a nightmare. Nobody can make me cry angry tears like a customer service representative. You are not alone! :)
ReplyDeleteAl
www.herbearings.com
But that mean man emoji though lol. When TJ is being a dick I just send him that emoji over and over and over again. So did you cancel your service or what? We only have basic cable here and we pay around $10 for Netflix and $10 for Hulu Plus ... we don't miss TV at all! Plus you can use CH131.com!
ReplyDeleteUgh - I hate our cable bill. And I am totally with you on all these.
ReplyDeleteOh god... #5 is the WORST! I've had scripting at jobs before, even the job I have now (not a call center) and I refuse to go by it. Like, REFUSE. It always sounds so fake and takes forever to say something you could say in way less words.
ReplyDelete#3. yes! And if you need someone to talk to about not having cable, I'm right here for you! It's SO easy. Get a chromecast!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry. You are crazy to NOT have accepted that tablet. Make them keep you!! Seriously. My husband basically does that sort of phone call for pleasure. He loves to talk on the phone, swindling deals here and there. He saves us a lot of money this way. No free tablets yet.. but there's still hope.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I think you can blame Time Warner's corporate practices for your anger. I've gotten pissed about Comcast- they never cancel when I tell them to cancel, then they try to charge me. Luckily I have a brother-in-law working for them so he took care of all that. Even he doesn't like the customer service folks (he's in the sales end).
ReplyDeleteWhat bugs me is people who are in front of me in line at the bakery, but they are standing really far away from the case. They've made it clear they're in line and don't want you getting in front of them, but they already know what they want. They probably are only getting coffee. So I'm left to look like an overzealous goon peering around them, trying to see all of the baked good offerings and I can't tell if the pastries look better than the muffins.
Well, I'm glad you shared this post- I think we all have "those people" in our lives!
I once had Subways remember everything I said. Amazing right?! I could have married him right then and there.
ReplyDeleteWhy is canceling cable so freaking hard? We tried to a few months ago and they did the same thing with the free stuff spiel. My husband finally said okay when they said they'd knock $50 off our bill that month. When we got the bill, they had knocked off $50....and added $50 in "undisclosed fees." So I made that face, too.
ReplyDeleteRight there with ya - the other day I tried to park in a lot near the train station and it costs $6. I only had a $20 bill so I handed it to the attendant and she kept asking me if I had smaller bills. I kept saying no, and then she told me I would have to go to a different lot further away because she couldn't make chance. I flipped a shit for no reason and was SO pissed for no reason...the struggle is real!
ReplyDeleteI posted about how my ex made me cry... ahem... at work the other day. When a girl has been crying you can tell. Her makeup is all fucked up and smeared. Her nose is red and running. She might be a little sweaty or hair messed up. Why do people continue to ask "are you ok"???? Clearly no, no i'm not but thanks for pointing out that in addition to not being ok I look like shit as well. Gahhhhhh!!!!
ReplyDeleteI cancelled my cable and just went with internet. I was surprised how easy it was and the lady didn't try to keep me! They did leave 2 messages the next day asking me to come back. TWC is still overcharging me for internet, but that's a necessity!
ReplyDelete-AJ
OccasionallyAJ.com
hahahah I do the exact same thing! :D And i do feel a little guilty afterwards lol! :)
ReplyDeletexx,
Lilla
http://lilycupcake.blogspot.com
OMG the sales guys and the cable companies always get me riled up. Quit wasting my time! Get on with it already!
ReplyDeleteugh cable companies are the worst. my SO just informed me he's been paying $200/month for ours. so insane, and we don't even have a DVR! also, speaking of cab fares, we had a $307 fare on saturday to get home in the Seattle snow, and our driver got stuck on a hill and had to be pushed by 5 people. so, basically what I'm getting at is I feel you on these!
ReplyDeletexo.
jenn @ hello, rigby!
I've basically given up with the chipotle order. I give it to them in sequence because I know they won't remember it
ReplyDeletebahaha oh god, those people on the phone...
ReplyDeleteNo, cable company people totally deserve it. Complete scammers. I operate by the "customer is always right" philosophy & expect the same from my customer service representatives.
ReplyDeletexx
Here&Now
Enter my current giveaway!
OMG! Totally feeling this way today. Our basement flooded and the carpet guy came today and spent half an hour explaining why his company was the best (just show me your carpet samples!!!) and how he was all about the "relationship" and not the high pressure sale. ....And then proceeded to pressure us and not listen to a thing we were saying. I wanted to punch him.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that Chipotle thing happens to me every. time. I don't even try anymore, I just wait til they ask and say it one at a time. (While rolling my eyes inside).
So glad I'm not the only grouchy bitch lol. Solidarity, sister.