#NailedIt

You know how you stumble on blog posts that just ooze creativity and make you say, "Oh my gosh, what a genius idea!" 

This post is the exact opposite. I have no idea how to do these things on Pinterest. I follow the tutorials, I try and recreate the images I see that seem easy enough, I follow each step meticulously... yet mine looks nothing like theirs. What gives? 

1. Clean, bright, artistic and trendy office spaces with character and flare. 

Damn you Glitter Guide. Damn you and your Style at Home Pinterest Boards. All of the office spaces I pin are so clean, chic, effortlessly beautiful bright and feminine. And most importantly, they all look so simple. Get some big fashion books, an odd item turned paperweight, a quote that makes no sense to anyone and a cup of pens. I have all of those things, yet mine looks nothing like theirs. No one would ever repin mine :(

2. Recreate a consistent cat eye

I cannot do a good cat eye to save my life. Why is the left eye is so much harder than the right eye? The left cat eye always points down instead of up, no matter how high I attempt to make the cat eye go. Mother trucker. How are you people getting this right every time?? I followed your dang steps. Why is my eye pointing downward and yours is pointing upward??

3. Why Can't I Make my planner look like your planner?

I own washi tape, and highlighters, and colored pens... but I just feel weird putting tape in my notebook. And at what point am I just highlighting the entire book? I feel like the boy who cried highlight, what if I highlight everything and then when I really need to do something that is highlighted, I ignore it.

4. Why are all the homes on Pinterest so white? How do they stay so white?

White walls, white floors, white couches, white cups, white pillows, white rugs, white chairs, white lights, white picture frames, with pops of color that would even impress the color blind dude down the street. These people make me feel like I live in the taupe dungeon from hell.

5. How can you afford all these furnishings for your place? 

I think I make a pretty comfortable living. I work hard, I try to save, I have more than one job, yet a couch or large piece of furniture would wipe me dry after bills, rent and savings. I just got this new apartment, bought a new couch and I'm done for a few months. What are these people's professions? Cowboy-astronaut- big shot- millionaires? Well, at least my couch is white. That is a good start.

6. Making these fake phones for iphones look so cute.

 Mine just looks like a cheap fake phone. Theirs looks like a bronze beacon of fabulocity.

7. Braids

How are you getting them so thick? I have THICK hair. Very thick hair. Mine look woven noodles. Theirs looks like woven poop (woven poop in a good way).

8. Amazing pictures of NOTHING. 

These girls on Pinterest that can throw 4 totally random objects in a picture and I'm repining it like a mindless fool. I can't tell you how many times I've repinned a keyboard with some cheap headphones plugged in and a pen sitting on top of a sheet of looseleaf.

Dang it. Stupid Pinterest.