Let's talk about the grossest thing happening on my body right now. My thighs. When I walk, I have to waddle a bit because it burns when they rub together in this 104 degree Texas heat. I know what you're thinking right now, "Gosh, this girl must be a dude magnet." Yes, I am. I don't always begin a conversation by discussing my ham hock thighs, just when I want to put my best foot forward.
Ba-dum-ch!
Besides the pain of the inner thigh rash, I have another problem. Anytime I'm wearing shorts, the inner part of the short rides up into my crotch. I'm forced to either stick my hands up in between my legs and pull the shorts out of my crotch every six seconds, or walk duck-like in hopes that it will naturally fall out from in-between my legs. When I was running today, it looked like I was playing treadmill hopscotch I was running so wide legged. The entire 30 minutes all I could think is, "If I ever make it off this treadmill alive, I'm buying all the stock in workout leggings".
Holy geeze I just put my pajama boxer middle wedgie on the internet. If that isn't motivation to lose weight well then my middle name ain't Billy Bob.
Am I wearing the wrong shorts?? Do I walk incorrectly? Am I a freak and no one else has this problem?? I need to know how to fix this in the short term, because after I finish couch to 5k I will look like this and won't have such blue collar problems.
I would be willing to bet any amount of money that this chick's 16 year old pajama boxers don't scrunch up into her lady area when she walks.
So I'm sure you have heard of "camel toe"... well I'm going to call this the lion scrunch. Because you are lion if you think you don't look totally disgusting with your shorts scrunched up in your crotch. I guess I now understand why the olympic athletes run so funny. If they didn't, their shorts would be riding up into their va-jay-jay on national television!
Come back next time as I explore the world of the extra skin hangover-your-elbow arm flap. Followed by the ever popular, "Did your knee cap get hit with a line drive bowling ball, why is it so swollen?"
