Things I Admire

Good lord in heaven, how do you do this?

You must not own a dog, right? No dog hair or toys to pick up?

You must not have a bathroom? Right? I cannot keep that thing clean to save my life.

You mean to tell me that you take the clothes out of the dryer and fold them, in the same day week?

You really, seriously, make the bed each morning? WHY?

What about rings from drink glasses? You can't possibly tell me you are always using a coaster. 

You mean to say you are getting out the duster on the reg and cleaning that fan? For real?

I admire you, neat freaks. You impress me.

After 5 minutes I feel like Mimi from the Drew Carrey show is line dancing on my lungs.

Couch to 5k is exhausting. Ok maybe I can attempt it on the treadmill but never outside. 

What about hills? You just mosey up those hills like it is your job?

On the treadmill, I feel like I'm kicking butt and taking names at 4.5mph... I see you at 7.5mph. What gives??

Doesn't your butt hurt when it bounces up and down from the pressure? Maybe that is just me.

I admire you, runners. You impress me.

As I've mentioned a million times, I often find lean cuisines to be tedious. 

When I get home from work, I just want to eat. I don't want to stand there for more than 5 minutes.

But YOU... you cooks you... standing there, moving around, grabbing pans

mixing sauces, being patient...

READING DIRECTIONS?!?!

Where do you find the energy for such endeavors? 

I admire you, cooks. You impress me.

You thousand fan bloggers you. 

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

Are there even 1,000 people on the internet that know how to use the GFC button?

99.9% of people I talk to outside of blog land wouldn't know how to leave a comment here.

But you thousand fan bloggers, 

you.... with your 54 comments per post. Touche. 

I admire you, 1,000 fan bloggers. You impress me.

You dancers and your butt rolling thing you do.

You Zumba people and your ability to move your arms in a completely different direction than everything else.

DEAR GOD HOW DO YOU DO THAT SHIMMY THING WITH YOUR CHEST???

I can catch any kind of object that is falling at FREAK speeds, but shake my fanny. No.

I admire you, dancers. You impress me.

You Vloggers and your video blogs. I thought you would be easy. 

I started watching Daily Grace and I thought, well dang, I can do that. I'm funny (ish)

You are just sitting there making me laugh by being awkward and saying things that are constantly going through my mind. You are just answering people's questions! I do that every day!!!

Well, touche Vloggers, touche. 

Last night, I learned that YOU are incredible. 

As I sat down to do a Vlog last night and the camera timer ticked 3...2...1...ACTION

I was transformed into Ricky Bobby. Talk about camera shy.... 

Maybe I needed a script. Maybe I just should never do that, ever again. But dear lord, this was bad.

I admire you, Vloggers. You impress me. 

Here is my 10 seconds of hell I spent in front of the camera last night. 

Vlogging = not for me.

(Doesn't mean I won't try it again)