You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

Hi. I am a very crotchety person. 

People and things annoy me easily.

Let's get started shall we?

1. Sport Coat Guy

Every bar has one. I promise. 

Wherever you go tonight, even if it is a underground rave with glow sticks and sweaty fairys...

Sport coat guy will be in the corner with his hand in his pocket casually bobbing his head up and down and grinning like a baseball pitcher bobble head doll. 

He is 96% of the time alone. 

He 86% of the time will talk to you 100% of the time.

Twice. 

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I'm dead serious. He is at. every. bar. 

He says things like, "So, who is your favorite character on the OC?"

"I should take you to this quaint hole in the wall I love just on the outskirts of downtown." 

"Do you like this shirt? My ex girlfriend bought it for me."

He wears a sport coat with jeans because he likes to say, 

"Hey, I'm laid back but still make enough money to shop at Ross and buy you well drinks all night." 

You will now notice him, and let me know when you do so I can say I told you so. 

2. This convo...

Friend: "Are you mad?" 

Venus: "No I'm not mad." 

Friend: "Well you just look mad."

Venus: "So you are saying I look bad, ugly, chronic bitch face?" 

Friend: "Well, no you just seem mad at me, did I do something to make you mad?"

Venus: "No, I'm fine."

Friend: "Ok, well don't be mad if you are mad. I just don't want you to be mad at me. Are you sure you are not mad?"

Venus: 

Venus: "Yes, I'm mad. Go away."

3. Girls that walk around bars/streets without shoes on.

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Have you lost your minds? 

For reals though. 

You can get hepatitis, or rabies or HIV or step on glass or, or, or.... 

ewww.... a band aid!!! 

 

If you can't walk in heels. Get some flats. I recommend these since you just loooove being barefoot. 

And that kids, is what really grinds my gears.