Thirsty Thursday: Dry Campus My Rear End!

I attended a large division one university for 4 years. By 4 years I mean 4 and a half. Did anyone really think I was going to miss the opportunity for one more football season and free tickets? Heck no! The school I went to was a dry campus. This means no alcohol in the dorms, the stadiums, the classrooms, the fraternity houses, the library... GASP!! Yes, I may or may not have had a cocktail in the library which may or may not have contributed to that last half year. Only kidding, I had a great GPA and I was super studious. I would study for a whole hour a week and 2 hours the finals week! :)

So back to this dry campus dilemma. Most of the time, the university just looks the other way when it comes to tasty cocktails for college students, aka a keg of natty light, especially in the fraternity houses or at football tailgates. But what do you do when they don't look the other way and a police officer is standing there ready to search your bag and find your stash of liquor? For instance, what if it's game day and you need to get those Jack Daniels mini bottles into the stadium. Or it's about to be tip-off at the basketball game and the security guard is checking purses at the gate. You just know he is going to confiscate that flask you had with you on the drive over. What ever is a girl to do?

Here are my fail safe tips and tricks (and also a few things that didn't work!) to sneak your precious booze into your favorite college sporting events!

1. FAIL

I bought this fabulous pair of Burberry sunglasses in the fall of 2007.

Yes I was 20 years old and a college student and not rich, so the $295 we will call an investment in fashion! Carrie Bradshaw once said, "I like my money right where I can see it, hanging in my closet." So I am going to pull that card. Anyways it came with this case...

This case is quite large inside and would hold, I dunno, we will say potentially something the size of about 4 mini bottles. Well me being the logistically-savvy college student I decided, hey! Let's put my mini bottles IN my sunglass case and when they search my purse at the gate they will surely won't ask to check inside there?! Here is where I went wrong: I had the sunglasses on my face so it was clear there were no sunglasses filling my case. And then I failed again: went to the LADY cop on a power trip. UGH.

FAIL: Searched my sunglass case to find 4 bottles of Jack Daniels and they were confiscated on the spot.

2. Pass

This task involves much preparation. Well, not that much but a little more planning that the previously mentioned idea. Do you guys ever get the Clinque  trial samples of eye makeup remover?

Well, these days with the rules at the airport, several companies make little bottles of trial sized makeup remover, face cleanser, shampoo, conditioner, perfume etc. Conveniently, after a quick run through the dishwasher, these serve perfectly as a holder for your clear liquors such as vodka, rum or gin!

PASS: I had a friend in college who swore by this procedure each game day. She kept them in her purse and was never questioned by any guards. She walked right into the stadium and enjoyed a tasty vodka sprite during the kickoff!

3. FAIL/Pass

Every purse I have ever owned has side zippered pockets on the inside lining of the purse. I usually keep my cell phone in there so I can quickly reach for it, but according to Mr. Venus my cell phone is always in my hand while I compulsively text. I am a texting addict. I also keep my keys there or sometimes lip gloss. It zips up nicely so that no one can see the inside pocket. Ding Ding Ding- at a tailgate I thought to myself, duh! Take out that other crap and throw a bottle in there!

Pass: I have several girlfriends who do this religiously and get their mini bottles into the game every time. No one asks them to unzip the pouch and they prance right through.

Where I failed on this one: Well I was already 3 sheets to the wind (those darn 7pm kick offs get me every time) and I thought how on earth can I possibly drink MORE liquor tonight? But beer, beer I can do! So I proceded to insert a full can of beer into my zippered pouch. Then insisted the pooch on the side of the purse blended in. Well that blended in about as much as the girls from Teen Mom blend in at their high school with their oops-pooch. Confiscated. Again.

4. Pass

Now that it is November, temperatures have drastically dropped. It is time to bring out the cable knit Polo sweaters and Northface fleeces. These are bulky and don't give a lot of information away.

Pass: Put the mini bottles in your bra. First of all, it won't be noticeable under your many layers, and second, if a security guard feels your lady parts up, that is a one way pass to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. You can thank Victoria's Secret for that tasty rum and coke you get to enjoy at the game!

5. Pass

I am a big fan of cowboy boots at sporting events. Think how cute this Anthropologie dress would be with a cute pair of cowboy boots?

Or if you are slightly above the Mason Dixon line switch the cowboy for a more city boot like these from Zappos.

I LIKE:

Liat by
Eric Michael

Pass: Stick some mini bottles in your boots! You can push them far down by your ankles where the boots are a bit wider and you will have plenty of room to sneak your booze into the big game.

6. Tips

Here are some tips from me to you:

1. Avoid women guards at all costs. They are usually more thorough than male cops and are out to get the cute girls. Plus your sweet southern charm or fierce confidence will be able to flirt your way out of most situations with male officers
2. Go at times when there are long lines. Long lines= not as thorough checks of the purse.
3. Use big purses. I am a fan of the big purse anyways and there is more square footage and, in turn, more hiding places for the liquor
4. Buy mini-bottles. Flasks are cool to have and come in handy at events where alcohol is LEGAL but it just isn't feasible for sneaking in to a game.
5. Be 21. Being under 21 and possessing alcohol is just a bad, bad idea so only take my suggestions if you are of legal drinking age!

Happy Booze Sneaking Venus Lovers!